Wade Phillips is apparently on his way to Dallas to coach the Cowboys. I’ve been keeping an ear to the ground this morning to hear the chatter about why this is a "Perfect Fit" and why this isn’t going to be a colossal failure. Here’s why I think the only thing wade phillips is a perfect fit for is a pair of pants with a 62 inch waist:
Reason A: "His Track Record as a Head Coach" Chris Mortensen said this is the reason that Jerry Jones went with Phillips over Norv Turner. He did everything except call him a "Proven Winner." When did we start saying that coaches who are 48-39 have a good track record? Not to mention he is 0-3 in the playoffs. Didn’t we just get rid of a coach who can go 9-7 and lose in the first round? Ridiculous.
Reason B: "His Laid Back Coaching Style will Mesh with T.O." Both Mort and a Cold Pizza analyst went on about this. All I can say is Exhibit 1-Andy Reid. Laid back coach + T.O. = Immediate Success but eventual Disaster. I don’t know if Norv Turner would have done any better, but please don’t tell me that the reason we should hire Phillips is because he will "mesh with T.O."
Reason C: "He’s a Master of the 3-4 Defense" Wait?!?! He knows the 3-4??? Well, why didn’t you say so. I guess that Parcells was just joking when he said he knew the 3-4. And I guess the Cowboys were just trying to spice up their life by totally abandoning it in the last few weeks of the season. It couldn’t be that we weren’t getting any pressure in the backfield with the 3-4, could it? It couldn’t be that our line backers and defensive backs were getting shredded in the passing game, could it? That’s the answer to the Cowboys mystery: a defensive mastermind.
2007 should be a banner year. We’ll have a totally inexperienced offensive coordinator (but he’s got cute red hair) with a defensive specialist for a coach. There will still be problems with T.O. and Romo will make 2 bad plays for every 3 good plays. I’ve gotta run and get my season tickets now!